Words are transformative. Successful people often cite wisdom passed down from mentors or gleaned through the spoken and written words of others.
Words of affirmation are an intentional way to build up yourself and others. They can be used when you want to increase your confidence, motivate yourself, or strengthen or fix a relationship. When used consistently, they can contribute to an overall positive and encouraging atmosphere.
What are words of affirmation?
Words of affirmation are positive or encouraging statements. They can be said out loud or written, both to yourself or another person, to confirm your support, acceptance, appreciation, or unconditional love.
They can be simple, like telling a friend, “Your practice is paying off. You’re a good singer.” But they can also be more specific. A self-affirmation may sound something like, “I am a patient person who counts to ten before responding to rude emails from Debbie in finance.”
It all depends on what you want to use them for and, more specifically, how you want to grow.
Here are some common reasons for using words of affirmation:
- Providing emotional support to yourself or a loved one
- Building your self-esteem or self-confidence
- Strengthening a bond between yourself and another person
- Motivating someone to overcome a challenge
- Knowing how to disagree while still being compassionate
- Fostering a positive and supportive atmosphere
You may find words of affirmation that work for you during self-reflection and self-talk sessions or when receiving feedback or praise from another person.
Do words of affirmation work?
Words of affirmation work to reduce stress, improve your ability to regulate your emotions, increase your ability to solve problems, and more.
Studies from Oxford Academic, PLOS ONE, and ResearchGate show that those who use words of affirmation progress in the following ways:
- Cortisol levels decrease
- Activity in a region of the brain associated with emotional regulation increases significantly
- Problem-solving improves, which reduces the negative effects of stress
- Physical activity levels increase
- Relationship satisfaction increases when a person uses their partner’s preferred love language
These studies suggest that words of affirmation significantly improve mental health and emotional well-being.
60 words of affirmation examples for loved ones and yourself
Effective words of affirmation should be genuine and specific. You can focus on offering positive affirmations to a friend or coworker, communicate support to a loved one, or tailor your words to goals you’ve set for yourself.
Words of affirmation for friendships
When using words of affirmation to strengthen a friendship, focus on acknowledging your friend’s efforts to be thoughtful, supportive, and fun.
- “You pick the best movie night films. I know it’s going to be something good when you pick.”
- “You’re so crafty. Keep making your DIY projects, they’re getting better and better.”
- “Could you possibly know more about birds? Birdwatching with you is like a Nat Geo course.”
- “You’re so adventurous. I would never have hopped on a plane to see a concert alone.”
- “You’re a great accountability buddy. I totally would have skipped yoga if it weren’t for you.”
- “Studying is much more fun when you’re there to take coffee breaks with.”
- “I appreciate your help moving. Not everyone is willing to pick up a couch for a pizza!”
- “I don’t know what I would have done without you after that last breakup.”
- “Remember playing astronauts in the backyard? I think you’re the reason I’m a physicist.”
- “I haven’t been the happiest person this year. Thanks for being my friend, even when I’m down.”
- “You’ve been so supportive through this difficult time of my life. Thank you for being there for me.”
- “You’re so patient with your kids, even when you’re tired. It’s inspiring.”
- “It’s nice to know I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not around you.”
- “You’re easy to talk to, you know that?”
- “You’re so good at balancing your work and home life. I don't know how you do it.”
Words of affirmation for romantic relationships
Romantic relationships become stronger when two people feel connected. By focusing on appreciation and communication, you can use words of affirmation to achieve this.
- “Thank you for always making me laugh when we get lost. It helps me not feel scared.”
- “You were so patient when I was nervous about meeting your friends. I felt so supported.”
- “How do you always pick the most romantic restaurants for date night? It’s impressive.”
- “I really did feel safer with you holding my hand during that scary movie.”
- “Cooking with you is so much fun. We make such a good team!”
- “You know, that coffee you brought me really turned my day around. You’re a good partner.”
- “After we fought, it meant so much that you sat down to talk it out with me.”
- “Your patience when I struggled to express myself reminded me we’re in this together.”
- “Thank you for listening to my perspective about our plans. It made me feel valued and heard."
- “Your openness in sharing your feelings with me during our walk helped me feel closer to you.”
- “Not every partner would keep planning date nights after ten years of marriage. I am so lucky.”
- “You cheering on our daughter during her play made me want to tell you that you’re such a good parent.”
- “Your renovation skills are top tier. I couldn’t have done this without you.”
- “Your dedication to providing for our family is appreciated and inspiring.”
- “You look amazing today.”
Words of affirmation for coworkers
Relationships with bosses, employees, and team members can make or break your job. These examples of words of affirmation can help strengthen your relationship-building skills at work.
- “Thanks for guiding me through that project recently. You’re a supervisor who is easy to talk to.”
- “I appreciate you handling the client meeting yesterday. We dodged a bullet because of you.”
- “You made my onboarding process invaluable. I felt welcome and prepared from day one.”
- “I admire how you manage our team’s workload. I feel like I can meet these realistic deadlines.”
- “Thank you for advocating for our department during the budget meeting.”
- “Not every boss can stay positive during crunch time. Your attitude makes a real difference.”
- “Your detailed feedback on my report helped me improve the final product.”
- “Thank you for going above and beyond to stay late and finish the proposal.”
- “Your problem-solving skills during the system outage were crucial.”
- “Your writing skills have really improved this quarter. I think you’re ready to project manage.”
- “This event was so much fun. You really know how to delight a client.”
- “I always know that when you’re involved, the work will be high quality.”
- “I know that task wasn’t part of your job description. I appreciate the extra help.”
- “You really know how to cut out the fluff when building a strategy. It’s impressive.”
- “You make it fun to come to work.”
Words of affirmation for self-love
Words of affirmation for self-love and confidence should express appreciation for your own actions. But they can also feel more like manifesting an action you want to happen.
- “I go to the gym regularly because I prioritize a healthy lifestyle.”
- “My team will recognize my hard work and contributions because I will speak up.”
- “I am not afraid to attend tonight’s networking event because it will be fun.”
- “I prioritize myself by making time to cook healthy meals.”
- “I am patient with my partner when chores aren’t done the way I would do them.”
- “I always listen to my needs and set boundaries honoring my self-respect.”
- “I am someone who says yes to new and exciting experiences.”
- “I am dedicated to professional growth to fulfill my creative passions.”
- “I constantly learn and grow, becoming a better version of myself daily.”
- “I am honest and accountable when I make mistakes.”
- “I am worthy of owning my own home and living there with a loving partner.”
- “I won’t allow others to call me names or talk down to me.”
- “I meditate every day to improve my mental health.”
- “I celebrate my successes and learn from my failures.”
- “I do not have imposter syndrome, and I deserve higher compensation.”
Other techniques, such as the whisper method, manifestation, and the practice of self-love, may help you build good habits and include positive affirmations in your day.
Words of affirmation as a love language
Gary Chapman popularized the concept of “words of affirmation” through his book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.” His book identifies words of affirmation as one of the five love languages or primary ways people give and receive love.
The five different love languages include:
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Physical touch
- Words of affirmation
Chapman’s framework has helped many people understand these forms of communication and build healthy relationships.
He emphasizes that kind and appreciative words of encouragement can deeply impact those who value words of affirmation as a love language. This makes them feel loved, valued, and understood.
Understanding words of affirmation as your love language
If unsolicited compliments, kind words, and verbal expressions of love or appreciation make you feel uplifted or cherished, words of affirmation might be your love language. This also may be true if you’re especially sensitive to harsh words or criticism.
How to date someone whose love language is words of affirmation
If you’re in a romantic relationship with someone whose primary love language is words of affirmation, express your love and appreciation for them using encouraging words and statements.
Here are some ways to do so:
- Compliments: Remind your partner what you appreciate about them
- Gratitude: Thank your partner for the things they do, no matter how small
- Encouragement: Remind them to believe in themself when they face challenges
- Love notes: Write sweet messages on sticky notes and leave them where your partner will find them
- Acknowledgment: Celebrate your partner’s successes
- Be positive: Avoid criticizing your partner harshly
- Affirm commitment: Say “I love you” out loud and frequently
Words have a profound impact on your significant other and can be a major source of validation. Be sure to use them with care.
Tips for using words of affirmation
Find ways to integrate words of affirmation into an already established routine. Establishing new habits is easier when there’s less friction.
Here are some ideas for incorporating words of affirmation into your routine:
- Say them out loud in the mirror before you leave for the day
- Write them down during a regular journaling practice
- Compliment your partner when they get home from work
- Write thank-you notes when catching up on your daily emails
- Affirm your goals after you leave the gym
Learning how to start journaling can help you incorporate words of affirmation into your routine.
How to ask for more words of affirmation
You can thoughtfully and respectfully ask your partner for more words of affirmation without criticizing them or making them feel like they’ve done something wrong.
Pick a private, calm moment to talk. If you’re in the middle of a heated argument or feeling stressed, your request may not be heard or taken seriously. Use “I” statements to assertively explain what words of affirmation mean to you and why they are important.
Words of affirmation as a tool for personal growth
Words of affirmation can contribute to your personal growth and strengthen your relationships. Using positive, encouraging language can greatly improve your physical health and mental health. Incorporate them into your already-established routines to make it as easy as possible to use them each day.
Transform your relationships with effective words of affirmation. Master the art of affirmation with the help of a BetterUp Coach.
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