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Here's what to do when you’re sad to feel better

October 18, 2023 - 15 min read

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6 differences between sadness and depression

12 things to do when you are sad to feel better

3 signs to look out for

Reclaiming the sunshine

Building strong coping strategies helps you heal and brings you the resilience you need to work through big feelings. 

But sometimes, you don’t know what tools you need until you need them. Maybe your usual methods of thwarting sadness aren't doing enough to lessen the emotional weight, or you’re mentally exhausted and can’t muster the energy to reflect and heal. 

Everyone experiences sadness, but knowing what to do when you’re sad makes all the difference in moving on and learning how to cope and when to reach out for help. This understanding helps channel your emotions into self-care, fostering a sense of well-being and, ideally, peace.

6 differences between sadness and depression

Sadness is normal. But when it becomes so extreme or constant that it affects your life negatively, it might signal a larger mental health issue like depression. 

According to a review from Medical News Today, sadness isn’t classified as a psychiatric disorder because it passes with time. It usually stems from specific events, like a romantic breakup or the loss of a loved one. On the other hand, clinical depression is a diagnosable mental disorder unrelated to specific events, with sadness as one of its major symptoms.

Before you tackle what to do when you feel depressed, you need to explore the difference between sadness and depression. The goal isn’t to self-diagnose, but to self-reflect and consider whether speaking to a mental health professional is the right call. 

sad-woman-sitting-in-couch-looking-at-cloth-what-to-do-when-you-are-sad

Here are some differences between sadness and depression, according to Medical News Today:

  • Triggering events: Sadness is often a natural response to specific incidents such as work setbacks, significant life changes, or getting laid off. Depression, however, can stem from those events but persists despite circumstances.
  • Duration: Sadness is usually temporary and lifts as time passes or when you engage in activities you enjoy. In contrast, depression lasts for longer, typically over two weeks, according to Cleveland Clinic, affecting your daily life and making routine tasks seem overwhelming. If you're wondering how to not be sad and the feeling persists for more than a few weeks, it might be a sign of depression.
  • Pleasure in activities: A person experiencing sadness is often still capable of enjoying their favorite hobbies. But someone living with depression often loses interest in things they once enjoyed, a symptom sometimes known as anhedonia.
  • Feelings of worthlessness: Depression sometimes comes with feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem, which can make negative thoughts and emotions worse.
  • Complex causes: Unlike sadness, depression isn’t just an emotional state. It’s a mental health condition resulting from a complex interplay of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors.
  • Effect on daily life: Depression goes beyond fleeting feelings of sadness and substantially impacts your daily life. People with depression might struggle to concentrate, be productive at work, or make friends and engage with their community.

12 things to do when you are sad to feel better

If you’re sad and grappling with how to make yourself feel better, having a roadmap can help you follow a path to a better mood. Here are some strategies to guide you:

1. Avoid guilt

Guilt sometimes accompanies sadness, especially if you know other people are worried about you. But feeling sad isn’t a sign of personal failure. It’s a universal human experience and a normal response to certain life events. 

Instead of blaming yourself or feeling guilty for your emotional distress, view the purpose of sadness as a natural part of life's journey. Try journaling or starting a conversation with friends to reassure yourself that the feeling is normal. This acceptance can open the door to better understanding and emotional regulation without the burden of judgment or self-pity

2. Spend time with yourself

Being kind to yourself isn’t an indulgence. It's essential to maintaining health and well-being, even when you’re sad. Spend time with yourself as you would with a friend if they were upset. This could involve engaging in activities that make you happy or practicing self-care

Remember, whether it's soaking in a hot bath, immersing yourself in a good book, or taking a mindful walk in nature, these activities are never a waste of time. They're important tools to take care of your mental health and remind yourself that life is more than sadness.

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3. Write down your feelings

One powerful form of self-help is expressing your feelings through writing or anxiety journaling. Penning your emotions in a private place offers a safe space to acknowledge and explore your feelings. This process brings clarity and helps you identify the sources of your sadness if you’re unsure. Think of it as a self-guided exploration, offering insights into your emotional landscape.

4. Accept your emotions

Rather than pushing your sad feelings aside or trying to cover them up, allow yourself to feel them. Experiencing a range of emotions is an integral part of being human — and that includes sadness. 

It’s easier said than done, but embrace these feelings and learn how to improve your emotions instead of resisting them. Speak with a friend, coach, or therapist, and be honest about what’s going on. That truth is the first step to healing.

5. Breathe

Simple breathing exercises or meditation practices are excellent ways to calm yourself down, and they can work wonders for all types of stress and anxiety. When you focus on your breath, you ground yourself in the present moment, creating a sense of stability that can alleviate feelings of sadness.

6. Cry if you need to

Sometimes people cry at work, around friends or family, or alone. And studies show it’s actually good for you because it releases happy hormones. If you feel the urge to cry, allow yourself that release. It's a form of emotional expression that offers relief and healing.

woman-sitting-on-floor-crying-and-blowing-her-nose-what-to-do-when-you-are-sad

7. Do something that makes you happy

Pursue activities that bring you joy and lift your spirits, even if you don’t feel like doing them in the moment. Whether dancing in your living room, playing with your pet, or simply enjoying a cup of your favorite tea, find happiness in small moments. 

8. Do something creative

Painting, writing, or gardening are great ways to express your emotions and lift your spirits. They can help you navigate and eventually work through your feelings, or simply offer a distraction if that’s what you need. Think outside the box and find something that ignites your passion

9. Listen to music

Music can help you concentrate and significantly influence your mood. A song with a positive message or an uplifting beat can remind you of the things you love, offering an easy and enjoyable way to combat feelings of sadness. Turn on one of your favorite songs and let the music flow.

10. Exercise

According to a study by JAMA Psychiatry, just 15 minutes of running per day reduces your chances of depression. But exercise benefits don’t just stem from running or jogging. Any movement adds up to keep negative feelings at bay, so moving your body more in any way throughout the day positively impacts your mood. 

11. Prioritize sleep

University of Pennsylvania researchers found that individuals limited to 4.5 hours of sleep a night for one week reported more anger, sadness, and mental exhaustion. Inadequate sleep causes irritability and stress, so prioritizing is essential to stabilizing your mood. Take a look at your sleep hygiene habits and try to find ways to get more rest.

12. Talk it out

Sharing your feelings with a trusted individual can provide tremendous relief. They might not know what to say to someone who is sad, but that isn’t the point. This is about vocalizing your emotions and being vulnerable, allowing someone else to offer support, understanding, and a fresh perspective if they have it. 

Remember, if your sadness feels overwhelming or persists, don't hesitate to contact a mental health organization. It's not a sign of weakness but an essential step toward well-being.

sad-woman-talking-to-a-friend-what-to-do-when-you-are-sad

3 signs to look out for

If you’re managing feelings of sadness, it's important to know what signs might indicate a deeper mental health issue. Here are a few to look out for:

  1. Persistent sadness: It's normal to have periods of feeling down. But if you're constantly asking yourself, “Why am I sad for no reason?” or if the sadness doesn’t seem to lift, it could signal a more severe condition like clinical depression.

    This could be an enduring low mood that interferes with daily activities, impacts your relationships, or leads to physical symptoms of depression like a change in appetite or sleep patterns.

  2. Sudden mood changes: Emotional ups and downs are part of life. But if you experience sudden, intense mood swings, it might indicate a mental health condition. You might feel ecstatic one moment, then plunge into feelings of sadness the next. These dramatic fluctuations could hint at a mood disorder like bipolar disorder or major depressive disorder.
  3. Thoughts of self-harm: You should never ignore thoughts of self-harm. Seek help immediately from a mental health professional. Reach out to a local mental health crisis line, a trusted healthcare professional, or a supportive loved one who can guide you to the help you need. 

These signs aren't something to feel guilty or embarrassed about. They're indicators that it's time to ask for help, which is a courageous step. Mental health conditions, including depression, aren't character flaws. They're real health issues that you can manage with the right treatment.

Reclaiming the sunshine

Learning how to deal with sadness isn't easy, but you're not alone. 

If you’re wondering what to do when you’re sad, focus on the things that bring you joy, seek help when you need it, and remember that it's okay to feel sad. You have the power to navigate these feelings, and with these strategies, you'll be well on your way to reclaiming your sunshine. 

Published October 18, 2023

Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships.

With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

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