There is no one-size-fits-all approach to be happier, as everyone may have different needs—but here are some common things others do to feel happier:
Clarify your core values
A Core Values Clarification exercise can help you clarify the things you hold most meaningful and important. Once we get clear on our values, we get clear on what is in alignment — or not — in our lives. The more aligned we are to our core values, the more it positively influences our happiness.
Broaden and build on your positive emotions
The Broaden-and-Build Theory shows that positive emotions expand our awareness and encourage us to think and behave in newer, more varied ways. Here’s how you can use it to be happier:
- At the end of a day, write down on a piece of paper all the positive emotions you felt. For example, joy, excitement, or appreciation.
- Which of these positive emotions do you feel often? Are there situations that prompt them?
- Which positive emotions do you not feel often, but would like to feel more? What situations could prompt them? Brainstorm realistic ways for you to feel these positive emotions more often.
Perform random acts of kindness
Research shows that the happiest people are often those who help others. Random acts of kindness make the receiver happy, and it makes you happy too! Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Buy a coffee for the person in line behind you at the coffee shop
- Send a heartfelt thank you note to a coworker
- Compliment someone
- Surprise your friends—get their favorite food delivered
There are many different ways to perform random acts of kindness. Find what works best for you.
Positive affirmations
Using positive affirmations daily is a simple yet powerful way to bring happiness into your life. Much of what makes us feel low stems from the negative chatter that runs through our mind daily. Positive affirmations shut down this chatter and give us a happiness boost. Over time and with repetition, your go-to thoughts will become more positive. Here’s how:
- Write down a few positive affirmations. They must be written in the present tense and in the first person, with active words. For example, I am confident.
- Set an intention to practice for 21 days.
- Every morning, read your positive affirmations in front of a mirror, or you can read them out loud from sticky notes you’ve placed around your house.
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is a quiet yet powerful technique that not only allows you to be more present in the moment, but also allows you to see negative thoughts as just that: thoughts. A regular mindfulness practice allows you to find anchors, such as the breath, to bring you back to a mindful state. Over time and with practice, this can come in handy for stressful situations. Here is an audio track, to get you started.
Have fun
Do not underestimate the value of fun. And for the high achievers out there, know that having fun is time well spent. Sure, there are plenty of other things you could be doing, but spending time talking with a friend or doing a hobby has been shown to boost happiness.
Exercise
Many studies show that when you engage in a physical activity, the happy hormones called endorphins are released. Exercise can take many forms, from a walk or a round of golf, to high-intensity interval training or kickboxing. Do what works best for you.
Learn to forgive
Anger, rage, and resentment can be consuming. They are strong emotions that can take over the body, physically and emotionally. It is natural to feel irritated and angry from time to time, but the irony is that if we hold on to anger, it will create more damage to us than the situation or person we are angry with.
The antidote to deeply felt anger is forgiveness: the decision to let go of feelings and resentment. You chose to forgive someone who has hurt you, though you may not condone what they have done. The deeper the anger and resentment are, the more you may need to repeat the process of forgiveness to cope with the negative memories and feelings.
Challenge your anger by asking yourself the following questions:
- Why am I hanging on to my anger? What value is it to me?
- How has the situation or person affected me, and have I become a victim of my anger because it has become part of who I am?
- What would happen if I exchange my anger for forgiveness? How would I feel within myself?
-1.png)
