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100 self-reflection questions to explore yourself

January 14, 2024 - 19 min read
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    Self-reflection requires more than just a moment of thought. It’s a journey — often lifelong — that sometimes needs structure. 

    You can think through your current state and the outcomes of past and potential choices endlessly. But you might circle the same ideas over and over, leading to frustration and making you feel like you aren’t making progress. 

    Using pointed, relevant self-reflection questions can structure your experience. They’ll inspire you to approach a situation, desire, or fear in ways you may not have considered on your own. Answering a question about your self-care routine may turn into an exploration of your career satisfaction and whether you have a good work-life balance. And pondering your self-confidence could lead you to discover experiences that you didn’t realize affected your self-esteem.

    Whether you want to learn more about your future goals or use self-knowledge to deepen your relationships, the following 100 reflection questions will have something for you.

    What is self-reflection?

    Self-reflection is an introspective process that asks you to consider your decisions, feelings, and goals. Through intentional self-reflection exercises, you can explore everything from your strengths and weaknesses to your motivations for the future. Your findings can inform future decisions and thoughts. 

    There’s no one correct route for self-reflection, but approaching the process with some structure is the best way to make the most of it. You could explore it with a therapist or coach who can guide you through, use journaling to process your thoughts, or even meditate through mindfulness

    The importance of self-reflection

    Self-reflection helps you develop awareness about your thoughts, feelings, and personal values. And the more aware you are, the more likely you’ll make decisions that reflect those things. You also gain an opportunity to discover and tackle insecurities, building self-confidence and a path toward growth. 

    The benefits of developing self-awareness include stronger relationships, reduced stress, and regulated emotions. It’s also an important part of personal development, giving you the information you need to move forward. But according to one study, only 10–15% of Americans are actually self-aware, and many more believe they are but don’t fit the criteria. If you feel you don’t know yourself well enough, self-reflection is a great place to start your discovery journey and become truly self-aware.

    The purpose of self-reflection questions

    woman-taking-selfie-in-the-street-self-reflection-questions

    Research from Frontiers in Psychology shows that not having a prompt for reflection or using very open-ended questions doesn’t result in comprehensive answers. Specific, directive questions best drive deep-reaching self-discovery

    Many people turn to self-reflection in challenging or confusing times. Asking broad questions about yourself or pushing yourself to “Just come up with an answer already” can lead to further cloudiness and frustration. Self-reflection questions take away the pressure, guiding you through clear thought processes that pave the way to the self-knowledge you’re looking for.

    100 self-reflection questions for personal growth

    The following 100 questions about yourself push you to explore your personal aims, professional satisfaction, and emotional wellness. Set aside distraction-free time to unpack a question, sitting with it for as long as you need (often a little longer than you think). Your personal reflections give you a starting point to grow and learn more about yourself.

    Self-reflection questions about your general self

    These personal reflection questions help you understand your personality and character. They help you pinpoint your core values, desires, and needs — the traits that make you unique. 

    1. How would I describe myself in 10 words or fewer?

    2. What are my strengths and weaknesses? 

    3. What’s a trait I admire in someone else I’d love to have? 

    4. Is there a shadow self that I tend to hide? Why? 

    5. Who am I when no one is watching? 

    6. What and who matters most to me in life? 

    7. What is something I’ve learned about myself recently? 

    8. How would I rate my self-confidence? What’s lacking?

    9. Who has made the most significant impression on me? Why? 

    10. What frustrates me about my current life? 

    11. Am I leading a life that aligns with my values? 

    12. How do I react to challenges? 

    13. What coping mechanisms do I use? 

    14. What’s my decision-making process? 

    Self-reflection questions about the past

    Everyone has something to learn from the past. But when life gets busy, you may forget to revisit those lessons and miss connections that could inform the present. With the following reflective questions, you’ll explore the moments, teachings, and people that have shaped your life. 

    15. What’s the most important lesson I’ve learned in life? 

    16. What event shaped me the most? 

    17. What has been the best moment of my life so far? Why? 

    18. If I could undo a moment in my past, would I? If so, which and why? 

    19. What would I tell my younger self?

    20. How does my current life differ from the one I imagined when I was younger? 

    21. What accomplishments am I most proud of? 

    22. What’s the bravest thing I’ve ever done?

    23. Whose lives have I impacted the most? Why? 

    24. Is there a painful memory I’m burying? If so, could I get help unpacking it?

    25. What’s a roadblock I overcame? How did I do it? 

    26. What was something I wanted but didn’t get? How did I deal with this situation?

    27. What was the greatest lesson from my childhood? 

    28. What was the greatest lesson of my adolescence? 

    Self-reflection questions about the present

    man-in-white-shirt-looking-in-the-mirror-self-reflection-questions

    Encourage mindfulness with personal growth questions that ground you in the present moment. These inquiries help you understand how you feel about your current life and the decisions you’ve made to get here. Questions about the present can be an excellent springboard for change if you identify areas of your life that aren’t fulfilling you. 

    29. How do I feel about where I live? 

    30. What do I most enjoy about my current life? 

    31. What are my priorities? 

    32. Who are the most important people in my life? 

    33. What do the people close to me bring to my life? 

    34. Do I live in the present as much as I worry about the future or think about the past? Why or why not? 

    35. What’s not working in my current life? 

    36. What’s something I do well every day?

    37. How do I practice mindfulness in my daily life? 

    38. Do I have healthy habits? Which ones aren’t healthy? 

    39. What do I like about my home and workplace? 

    40. What do I most like about myself now? 

    Self-reflection questions about the future

    The future holds experiences and opportunities that you can only begin to imagine. Start to visualize the path ahead of you with self-reflection questions that look ahead. They encourage you to project desires, set goals, and check whether you’re on the path to reaching your aims and becoming a better version of yourself. 

    41. Where do I envision myself in five years

    42. What are the top five items on my bucket list

    43. What skill or certification would I like to acquire? 

    44. What do I want from life?

    45. What legacy do I want to leave, and how do I want people to remember me?

    46. What travel would I like to take in the next few years? 

    47. What advice might my future self give me? 

    48. Am I on track to meet my long-term financial goals

    49. What’s a regret I wouldn’t want to have at the end of my life? 

    50. What’s my retirement plan?

    51. What are five adjectives I’d like to be able to use to describe myself in 10 years

    52. What three items would I like to acquire in the next five years? 

    Self-reflection questions about your well-being

    Caring for your mental and physical health can be challenging when you’re always on the go, but it’s a necessary step to directing your energy toward self-reflection. The following reflection questions encourage you to step back, assess how well you care for yourself, and create new self-care plans

    53. How do I practice self-care daily? 

    54. Do I have any bad habits I could improve

    55. What steps do I take to improve my mental and physical health? 

    56. How would I rate my work-life balance? Why? 

    57. Is there a health issue I could be treating better? 

    58. What does excellent physical health mean to me? 

    59. What does optimal mental health look like? 

    60. How much time do I spend caring for myself every day? Is it enough? 

    61. Am I getting enough physical exercise

    62. Am I eating nutritious meals

    63. Am I hydrated enough

    64. Does my sleep hygiene routine need improvement?  

    65. What is the role of mindfulness in my life? 

    66. What causes me stress? Is there anything I can do to change this? 

    67. Do I love myself? How could I practice more radical self-love

    Self-reflection questions about your relationships

    woman-smiling-and-looking-in-the-mirror-self-reflection-questions

    Healthy relationships provide emotional safety, joy, and connectedness. Part of their beauty — whether familial, romantic, or friendly — is that they’re never perfect. But that also means they sometimes need work. The following questions will help you assess the state of your relationships and spot opportunities to strengthen them. 

    68. What person brings me the most joy? Why? 

    69. Could I do more to connect with my partner/family members/friends? 

    70. What’s my communication style? 

    71. Is communication healthy with my partner?

    72. What’s my love language? What’s my partner’s? 

    73. Is there someone I'd like to reconnect with? 

    74. Am I tending to all of my important relationships well? 

    75. Is there a relationship I could repair? Which and how?

    76. Is there a boundary I could set in a toxic relationship in my life? 

    77. Is there a toxic relationship I may have to let go of entirely?

    78. Who supports me the most? 

    79. Who sees the most authentic version of myself? 

    80. Who do I feel the safest around? 

    81. Who pushes me to grow? 

    82. What would others say I bring to relationships? 

    83. What’s one thing I could do to make someone feel better today?

    Self-reflection questions about your professional life

    Whether you’re a freelancer or work a traditional nine-to-five, you probably spend many of your waking hours at work. Your professional self is a big part of you, so don’t let it become an afterthought. The following questions will help you assess your professional life's pros, cons, and goals.

    84. What do I most like about my career? 

    85. What would I do with my life if money weren't an object? 

    86. Where do I see my career in five years? What about 10? 

    87. Which coworkers do I collaborate with best? Why? 

    88. Who is my entrepreneurial idol? Why?

    89. Do I have professional goals? What are they, and how am I working toward them? 

    90. What skills am I lacking that could improve my work? 

    91. How would my peers describe me? 

    92. What’s my communication style at work

    93. Am I taking on too much? Not enough? 

    94. Am I at the place in my career I thought I’d be five years ago? 

    95. What’s a workplace issue I resolved well? How did I do it? 

    96. How do I manage conflict in the workplace

    97. Am I earning an amount that represents my worth? Is there an opportunity to ask for a raise

    98. What would I consider reaching my full potential?

    99. What transferable skills do I have?

    100. What skills make me a standout candidate? 

    3 other self-reflection activities and exercises

    woman-looking-at-the-mirror-worried-self-reflection-questions

    Your self-discovery journey shouldn’t stop at these questions. The answers can spur action and provide a jumping-off point for further introspection, whether you’re interested in setting long-term goals or just continuing to ponder a thought. The following three activities can help you get to know yourself even better and start reinventing yourself:

    1. Goal-setting: Creating clear goals encourages you to consider where you are now and would like to be in the future. Use self-reflection to decide what you want from your career, finances, or any other areas of your life. Setting SMART goals — specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely — can keep you on track.
    2. Daily journaling: You don’t need to have a question in mind when you journal. Using self-discovery prompts or just freewriting can help you reflect on the day and learn more about yourself. Note what happened that day or week, any feelings that came up, and related experiences that come to mind. The words on the page will teach you lessons about who you are and how you behave. You could also use a technique like the Johari window model to involve others in your introspection.
    3. Coaching: Career, communication, and life coaches help clients assess what’s not working in different areas and make action plans for change. Working with a coach gives you the chance to hear an outsider’s perspective on your life, pushing you to appreciate your strengths, transform areas of opportunity into successes, and move out of your comfort zone

    Become more self-aware through reflection

    Use self-reflection questions to guide your route to better self-awareness. You have all of the answers inside you already — you just need help pulling them to the surface. Try writing in a journal, spending intentional time with your thoughts, or even working with a coach to start reflecting. You’ll continue the road to self-discovery on a clearer path.

    Published January 14, 2024

    Elizabeth Perry, ACC

    Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships.

    With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

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