Feeling empty? Here are 8 reasons why and 6 tips to help

It can be alarming to feel empty. You may feel as if  you’re moving through the world on autopilot, disconnected from your surroundings. Or perhaps you lack excitement for the goals that used to drive your ambitions. Whatever the root cause, remember that this feeling is  not uncommon.

This feeling of emptiness can look different from person to person. Anything from unresolved past conflicts to a shift in your personal values can prompt the feeling. 

The good news? There is an abundance of strategies to help alleviate it and set yourself on a path to feeling more fulfilled. 

What does emptiness feel like?

You may have thought to yourself, “I feel empty,” but describing it proves difficult. Perhaps you feel like something is missing. Maybe your current situation does not align with your present needs or values. Often, feeling empty manifests itself as emotional numbness or being disconnected from the world because we’re not living our most fulfilling life. 

8 potential causes for feeling empty

When you notice feelings of emptiness, it’s important to pause and reflect on potential causes. 

It’s possible to identify more than one source of feeling empty. For example, you could be feeling lonely and navigating grief at the same time. See if any listed here resonate with you.  

1. You’re living a life that doesn’t align with your values. If you feel disconnected from your daily life, it could be because it doesn’t match your goals and values. It’s difficult to feel fulfilled by work and activities that you typically enjoy.
2. You’re dealing with a persistent lack of sleep. Sleep is crucial for our mental well-being. A consistent lack of sleep or sleep disorder could make it hard to feel engaged during the day.
3. You’re bored. If you’re uninterested in your work or activities in your personal life, it could result in feeling empty. 
4. You’re navigating a significant life event. Maybe you’ve just graduated from college, and you’re looking for what comes next. You might face an existential crisis as you navigate a major life change, wondering about your life’s purpose.
5. You’re not prioritizing your self-care. Self-care could look like indulging in your favorite dessert or even scheduling that dentist appointment you’ve been putting off. If you’re not regularly tending to your well-being, it will undoubtedly influence your mental fitness. 
6. You’re dealing with unresolved emotions. Unprocessed feelings from past traumatic events can impact our entire mental framework. As we move through different stages of our lives, more elements that need healing may reveal themselves to us. Your inner shadow might rise to the forefront of your mind and demand your attention.
7. You’re grieving. It’s normal to feel numb or disconnected after losing a loved one. You can also experience grief from losing a job or ending a friendship. 
8. You’re feeling lonely. Human connection is one of the most important factors contributing to our happiness. If you’re experiencing loneliness, it’s not uncommon to feel a sensation of nothingness. 

Once you’ve identified a potential source, dig a little deeper. There may be something beneath the surface that your feeling of emptiness is trying to tell you. Is your career no longer fulfilling? Are you navigating a challenging life event? With greater insight into what’s causing you to feel empty, you can be more proactive in reconnecting with yourself. 

What should you do when you feel empty? 

1. Reconnect to your values and purpose

Your values are the signifiers of what is important to you. They’re characteristics that build the person you want to be and guide your decisions. In other words, your values inform how you find purpose and define your sense of self.

But our values change over time. Sometimes when you feel empty, it’s a sign they’ve shifted, and it’s time to reevaluate. Other times, a feeling of emptiness means your current work, social, or personal life isn’t aligned with your values. 

To start reconnecting with your values, list 10 to 15 words that resonate with you. Words like authenticity, creativity, and grit are examples. Professor and researcher Brené Brown published this checklist of potential values to help you get started.  

Once you’ve selected your values, write a brief description of how they look in action. Does your day-to-day life match with these words? If not, you know where to focus your efforts when making changes to relieve feeling empty. 

In her book Dare to Lead, Brown pushes readers to “translate values from ideals into behaviors.” While her book focuses on professional settings, the sentiment can also be applied to your personal life. 

For example, say you value creativity. Do you have a hobby that invites it? Does your career allow for creative thinking? A 2021 study from the National Library of Medicine (NLM) found that creativity and well-being are linked. Valuing creativity without a way to express it could contribute to feeling empty. Turn this value into a behavior by scheduling time to write, paint, or engage in any other creative pursuit that helps you feel fulfilled. 

2. Try a new hobby or explore a new interest

Exploring a new hobby or interest can prove a fantastic way to reconnect with yourself. Hobbies can help us unwind and relax, thus reducing cortisol, our stress hormone. For example, the NLM conducted a study to measure the impacts of making art on cortisol production. It found that stress hormone levels decreased in 75% of test subjects after art making. 

Now, art doesn’t need to be your new hobby, but consider selecting one that could help ease your stress. This could look like rediscovering old or new activities. Is there something you’ve always been curious about but never had the time to try? Say you’re interested in gardening. You could get a simple starter herb garden or join a local community garden. Did you love baking when you were young? Maybe it’s time to try out a new recipe.

Sometimes, a fear of failure can prevent us from trying these new things. With any new endeavor, you have to start somewhere. Give yourself space to make mistakes and learn from them. Try to have a sense of humor when learning new skills. The more you practice, the better you’ll become. 

3. Set new and exciting goals

If you feel empty, it could be time to set new goals. You’re creating a new North Star to work toward. These goals should be something that both excite you and are actually attainable. For example, commit to going on a 30-minute walk every morning or writing a monthly newsletter to engage with people who share your interests. These are actionable and achievable goals that can easily scale as they become habits. 

American psychologist Edwin A. Locke devised the goal-setting theory in 1968. In short, it says clear, specific, and challenging goals are more motivating than vague ones. No matter your objectives, make sure the steps to achieve them are clear and intentional. 

Here’s a tip: Ambition is an excellent characteristic—it might even be one of your values. Even still, when creating new goals to relieve the feeling of emptiness, try to start with small, realistic goals. Little wins can have a significant impact on your self-esteem. Once you have momentum, you can set larger goals.

4. Nurture your relationships with loved ones

Feeling lonely can sometimes result in a sense of hollowness. Several lifestyle factors can cause loneliness, but here are some of the most common:

• You’ve just started a new job.
• You’ve recently moved to a new place.
• You’re going through a divorce, breakup, or friendship ending.
• You don’t have a sustainable work-life balance.
• You’re grieving the loss of a loved one. 

Feeling lonely can be discouraging. It’s important to remember that feelings of loneliness are not uncommon. The first step is to identify that loneliness contributes to feeling empty. Then, focus on nurturing your present relationships with loved ones and building new connections. 

When reconnecting with people around you, try these techniques:

• Attend a local meetup for people with the same interests. You can often find event postings on local Facebook groups or platforms like Meetup. 
• Try a support group for individuals with similar challenges.
• Volunteer your time and energy to give back to your community. Spend an afternoon helping at the local animal shelter or community garden. Volunteering can boost your sense of purpose, especially if it aligns with your values. 
• Schedule time to catch up with a family member who lives far away. You can do this over video chat or a phone call. 
• Plan to spend time with friends. You could go to a happy hour or spend an afternoon hiking. You can also see if a friend wants to join if you’re trying new hobbies. 

Speaking with trusted people in your support system about feeling empty can help ease loneliness. You might be surprised how many people around you deal with similar emotions. Opening up to loved ones and gaining their support can be empowering and comforting. 

5. Prioritize physical wellness

Physical wellness and mental well-being are closely intertwined. Feelings of emptiness may be exacerbated by not nurturing your physical health. That said, prioritizing your health is a great place to start when navigating the uncharted territory that emptiness creates. Let’s look at how nutrition, sleep, and exercise can help boost your well-being. 

Nutrition

Food is fuel for the brain. We need it to power our minds as we work toward a more fulfilling lifestyle. When you consume an excess of sugary and heavily processed foods, it leads to inflammation in the gut. According to Harvard Health Publishing, the connection between your gut and brain can contribute to anxiety. This is because the enteric nervous system (ENS) that lines your gut contains the same neurons as your central nervous system (CNS).

Your CNS is activated in times of stress or anxiety. It’s this connection between mind and gut that prompts feeling like there are butterflies in your stomach when you’re nervous. 

So, what does this all mean? In short, your gut doesn’t enjoy heavily processed or sugary foods. When you fuel your body with foods like cereal, candy, and energy bars, you’re more likely to experience a spike of anxiety. When it comes to gut health, probiotic and prebiotic foods such as yogurt or whole grains are great options.  

To start eating healthier, focus on making small choices every day. For example, make sure you start every day with breakfast. Keep healthy snacks within reach. When you’re feeling the urge to reach for a bag of chips, grab a pack of almonds instead. 

Sleep

Sleep provides your brain with an opportunity to rest. You must improve your sleep hygiene if you’re feeling empty due to extreme physical or mental exhaustion. The average adult needs seven to nine hours of sleep each night. 

Start improving your sleep practices by building a solid bedtime routine and turning your bedroom into a restful environment. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends practices like stopping the use of technology at least 30 minutes before bedtime or skipping the afternoon caffeine pick-me-up. 

You don’t have to change everything at once. Rather, slowly incorporate these new sleep habits into your evening routine. The goal is to create sustainable habits that promote quality sleep. 

Exercise

A regular exercise routine lowers your stress levels and improves your emotional well-being. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), even 30 minutes of moderate exercise daily can offer enormous benefits. Exercise helps you sleep better, increases energy, and improves your emotional well-being. 

The trick is finding a type of exercise that resonates with you. You likely won’t stick with that habit if you force yourself to run every day when you loathe running. Instead, find exercise that you enjoy. Take a dance class or go swimming. If you also have a mindfulness practice, build an exercise regimen around vinyasa yoga. 

It’s also important to note that an absence of physical wellness may not directly cause feelings of emptiness. Rather, a study by NLM found that incorporating an enjoyable exercise routine into your day-to-day can help ease stress and anxiety. It can help boost your overall mood so you’re better equipped to navigate feeling empty. 

6. Work with a coach or mental health professional 

Navigating feelings of emptiness is difficult to handle alone, so working with a coach can be helpful. Coaching is an individualized process that caters to your goals and values. A coach provides support and guidance as you build greater self-awareness. Together, you’ll work on building a skillset and gaining insight into yourself to unlock your full potential. 

Guidance from a coach can help, but sometimes feeling empty needs a different approach. If you feel disinterested in activities you usually enjoy or have chronic feelings of emptiness, it’s worth considering professional help. A licensed professional has the skills and knowledge to help you handle these complicated emotions.

Forge a path to a fulfilling life

Remember that it’s normal to feel empty from time to time. Usually, it’s a sign to reconnect with yourself or change your life so it better aligns with your values. Be patient and kind to yourself. It can be emotionally, mentally, and physically draining to remedy the feelings of emptiness. 

If you’d like to learn more, a BetterUp coach can help you build a path toward a fulfilling and meaningful life.